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the bachelorette is back: kaitlyn style

28 May

Well friends, we are on the cusp of summer, which means that it’s start to get hot and steamy down here in South Florida. It also means that your Monday nights just got hot and steamy, as the new season of The Bachelorette just started last week. It’s hard to believe, but we are already two episodes in, and there is already drama brewing.

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The Failed Format Experiment:

First of all, a brief bit on the overall format and idea behind starting the season with two potential bachelorettes. That’s right – for those who hadn’t heard, the first episode actually began with both Britt and Kaitlyn vying for the chance to be this year’s bachelorette.  Chris Harrison tried to convince us that America, and the guys they interviewed, were split about who they wanted to be the next bachelorette, so ABC just had to have them both on to be fair and see who would be chosen. Uhhhh, no. You could have easily found and picked 25 guys who liked one girl or the other. I’m sure there are some people every year who some people wanted to be the bachelor(ette), yet you never felt like you had to do that before…come on. Not buying it.

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Second of all, it was painful and awkward to watch. To set the two girls just far enough apart that the guys had to choose who to go say hi to first…oh and by the way, each girl could probably hear most of the things said to the other girl by the potential suitors….uh awkward.  Especially when you are Healer Tony, and you drop the exact same line – to a T – on each girl…”May the universe deliver…” So weird!!

Letting the guys choose which lady they wanted on night one, just a couple hours after meeting them, is such a huge power switch from the normal format. Normally the suitors are all trying to impress the bachelor(ette) and make some kind of impression on night one that will help them avoid being cut. In this case the suitors had all of the power…initially. PS. The drunkest person at the party doesn’t usually make it past night one (unless you’re Chris Soules and ended up keeping the drunkest girl after night one). And no matter how “horned up” Ryan was, he wasn’t advancing…

The reveal by Harrison was really blunt and direct. I’m not sure what it was, but he almost seemed to be a little bit happy when he was telling Britt that it wasn’t her. Okay, maybe not happy, but at least ice cold. And they sent her packing right away. Adios. And it really was painful to watch, even though I was on team Kaitlyn.

 

“Yay, I’m the Bachelorette!”

Kaitlyn has every right to be happy that she was chosen to be the bachelorette. I’m happy for her (except that I think it will probably end up making her look bad), but man she has said early and often how lucky and thankful she is to be the next bachelorette. In her defense, she is the first person who has ever had to beat out another person on the show in order to be the bachelor(ette).  I don’t think she’s gloating, but I do think if that phrase were a part of a bachelorette drinking game, you would tipsy.

In fact, Kaitlyn was so happy to be the bachelorette, that she made several strong connections the very first night with the dudes. Harrison makes that one of his first points to her the following morning – almost trying to make her feel guilty about it.

 

The Dudes

Okay, we are early on in the game, but there are still some observations that we can make with respect to the dudes. JJ is getting all kinds of facetime on the camera right now. He also has not wasted any time in becoming the house villain when he stole Kaitlin away, and he also managed to make Amy Schumer hate him. [Note to JJ: The guy/girl who “is not there to make friends with the other suitors” never makes it far, and PS. “former investment banker?!?”]  Ryan Gosling, er Shawn….you are atop the leaderboard for me at this point. Honestly, I had to look up what your name was because I call you Gosling. But that’s ok, because it means you are probably popular with the ladies. Tony the Healer, where to even begin….you are a 35 year old healer. And you dropped literally the exact same one liner to each girl when you met them just seconds apart. And when it came to stand-up comedy, you got up and spoke as if you were accepting some type of bizarre life award where you felt the need to share pieces of your life story and lessons learned along the way. Joe the Kentucky Zombie. I love that you made a sweet joke about your Kentucky accent. But seriously, you kind of do remind me of a zombie.  Chris the dentist enters in a weird cupcake mobile and somehow gets the first kiss. Brady, whose heart is full of melodies, elects to leave to chase after Britt. He finds her, they both spend time together eating ice cream with their shirts tied around their waist, and become boyfriend/girlfriend after a week. So sweet. And Josh the welder is my sleeper pick for now – seems like a really cool guy who is down to Earth and has a really great sense of humor.

poor man's gosling

poor man’s gosling

zombie joe from kentucky

zombie joe from kentucky

 

The Dates

The first date with Clint, while shocking that it was with him, was kind of neat. I didn’t realize that underwater photography was all the rage with the kids these days. But the photography turned out to be really cool. And they did plenty of making out in between shots. I warned you – Mondays are now that steamy.

surprising first one on one date

surprising first one on one date

Stand-up with Amy and friends. This one is perfect because I think it probably shows Kaitlyn who can keep up with her. She is quite the jokester and very quick witted, so a guy who can go with it and improvise with some humor is a good thing. I also wish that Amy would have warned her that she found out so quickly and easily what a dud JJ was. Apparently she didn’t because JJ ended up getting a rose. Highlights of the stand-up included Healer Tony’s introspection, Kentucky Zombie Joe making fun of his accent, and Chris the dentist with a good bit.

amy discovers in under 5mins that jj is a tool

amy discovers in under 5mins that jj is a tool

Boxing. What a dumb, terrible, no good, very bad, idea. Who thinks it’s a good idea to put a group of guys who are all competing for the same girl’s affection into a ring and tell them to box. Not to mention that most of these guys are fairly strong and in good shape, but complete amateurs. Strong guys who can probably give out some hard (and wild) punches, but who don’t know how to take one. You’re also mixing and matching guys from approximately 160lbs to 215+lbs.  Doesn’t seem fair, doesn’t seem smart. And poor Jared ended up concussed.  Kaitlyn: “I never wanted anyone to get hurt…” Oh really, Kaitlyn?? You just wanted them to get into a ring with each other to impress you based on them beating one another…

 

The teasers promise much more drama to come….Trokspot will keep you updated with all the hot takes on the bachelorette.

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