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the bachelorette, final 2

14 Jul

Congratulations, Kaitlyn, you eliminated the last normal suitor from the show.  Ben H., it’s been real. You were an excellent speech maker right up to the very end, but you will not be making speeches any longer, my friend.  And that means – drum roll please…………

Screenshot 2015-07-14 at 9.31.11 PM

We are down to the final two. And boy do those two hate one another. Nick, the shady character, and Shawn, the brooding jealous guy.  They genuinely do seem to dislike one another – and that’s putting it mildly. At this point with these two left, I think that Em might be right in that Kaitlyn will be the first ever bachelor(ette) to end up with no one. [Note: We actively avoid spoilers, so if we are right on this one, it’s because we’re perceptive. And if we’re wrong on this one, it’s because we actively avoid spoilers…]

The show has really been driven by Nick’s late appearance which was a bizarre wrinkle in the show (along with the entire process of “choosing” the bachelorette up front). That plot twist led to Shawn’s pure hatred of Nick from the get-go, and really the show has since focused on those two and the burning hatred between them. Whether it’s verbal confrontations, long camera shots of glaring stares, or confessionals stating how much they hated one another – that has been the story. And that story has only been reinforced by Kaitlyn – countless chats with Shawn about Nick, confessionals of her feeling guilty and worried about those two, many tears spilled worrying about them, and now deciding to keep those two as the finalists. It has become almost bigger than the “story within the story” – it has become the story.

So Kaitlyn, if we are right and you end up with neither, you might actually be in better shape than choosing one of them. I did predict at the end of Chris’s season that you would be the bachelorette, and I also said that I was worried it would end up ruining you…even as one of the most entertaining and engaging personalities from that season.  Maybe it’s best to cut your losses and say no to both. Otherwise you run the risk of ending up with one of these two:

Nick:

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-Shady character

-Called out Andi on national TV in the previous season

-Talks with a low mumble and super shifty eyes

-Loves scarves and skinny khaki/corduroy pants

-Is “deep” – meaning way to serious and emo

-Has a super bizarre family with like a million relatives

 

 

 

 

 

Shawn:

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-Will never get over the fact that you dated 30 other dudes

-Will never get past you and Nick

-Is super brooding and serious

-Will never get past you and Nick

-Will never get past you and Nick

-Although he does have a great bod…

 

 

 

 

For now, we will have to wait an extra week for the drama to unfold…. The next episode will be “the men tell all” episode, which is a great way to try to publicly shame and air dirty laundry for all who were involved in the drama that is the bachelorette.  I have a feeling there will be some interesting questions and topics that are covered….

Healer Tony

Zombie Joe

JJ and Clint  (an item??)

Cupcake (last seen sobbing on a cliff in Ireland)

Jared and his boyish charm

D-bag Ian  (he would be great given the opportunity to be the bachelor…)

Josh and his half-shaven head

And maybe even an update of Britt and Brady in the friend zone…

 

And of course, they’ll probably also be announcing the future bachelor – or at least alluding to it – on the show. My top picks for now are as follows:

  1. Ben Z. –  The guy is an athlete and ruggedly handsome. Plus he did soften up just enough to let everyone know that there is a sensitive side to him, which of course ABC wants for anyone who will be on the show. I’m pulling for Ben Z.
  2. Ben H. – While I think he’s a little bland, he is a great at giving little speeches, and he played the game well. No one hated him, there’s no drama, and he was one of the last dudes hanging around which does give him a realistic shot.
  3. Jared – I think this is a long shot because I think that Jared isn’t someone that people would immediately find appealing or compelling, yet, like Farmer Chris, Jared did a great job of showing how genuine and what a great guy he was throughout the season. (Although, I do wonder how happy ABC was with Chris’s season, so maybe that doesn’t work in Jared’s favor…)

Until next time friends….

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