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The Bachelor: The Women Tell All

Near the end of each Bachelor(ette) season, ABC brings back the contestants …errr… previous boy/girlfriends who have already been eliminated.  They get a chance to reconnect with each other, which mostly ends up in unpleasant confrontations and accusations about who was real or fake and who was the villain and who had it coming.  They also get the pleasure of watching their breakup and other awkward moments all over again….nothing like reliving painful experiences that you suffered for all of America to see…with all of America watching, again on tv. And then they get to see bachelor Chris again for closure, which of course is him just trying to save face and come off as mildly empathetic for having to let such a great girl go (remember at this point, our Romeo has made his decision and is already with one of the remaining two ladies). And it’s all moderated by Chris Harrison who just eats up the entire ordeal and continues to pry and dig in and extract those little sound nuggets of reality tv gold…Would you say that if not for Carly, you’d be with him right now?? Keep on stirring that pot, Harrison.

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This season did not disappoint in putting on some very unique personalities that in turn created lots of drama for ABC to work with. It also created plenty of fodder for last night’s episode. There were several women who were chomping at the bit to confront one another.

First things first, we can now confirm that Carly really was pretty evil. I mentioned in a previous post that she seemed to know she was on her way out and did whatever she could to drag Britt along with her. Near the beginning of the season, we kind of saw a Carly who seemed to be insecure about her own self worth and whether she deserved love, which created some sympathy and some votes for her to do well because she seemed nice and innocent. Then we find out that she’s actually a bit of a bully herself, with Britt, Jillian (how big is your dick!?) and likely others. We saw some of this in the final episodes in which she appeared, and definitely last night. Not cool, Carly.

Jillian really impressed me. Largely because she seemed to be level headed and stuck up for some of the girls when the others were really piling it on. Nice work.

Britt. Oh, poor Britt. She was not the right person for Chris, even if she did desperately try to convince us (and herself) last night that she really did love him, and that she really would have been okay in Arlington. Many of the ladies did seem to question her sincerity in these claims, but they really seemed to pile it on a bit too much. Especially Carly. And how about Em’s observation about Britt and Kelly Kapowski…

 

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Speaking of piling it on, Kelsey basically got crushed last night by everyone. I guess her eloquence didn’t get her out of this one. Not to be terribly mean myself, but I can certainly see why so many of the girls had huge problems with her. She clearly is a manipulative person, and she did think that she was better than the other girls. It’s been a running joke between Em and I that Sanderson Poe is actually a character in an olde novel which she only imagines she was married too before his tragic death…because really, whose name is Sanderson Poe? More suspiciously, who only refers to their significance other by full name!?! But the other girls legitimately calling that into question and not believing her on a sensitive issue to her face on national television is a bit over the line in my book.

Jade is again forced to bring up her Playboy history. And this time gets to confront Chris and ask him if that’s why he dumped her.  Again, he says no. She then gets upset and says that he upset her when he said he was disturbed at the difference in the way her family described her versus how he knew her, and that he thought it was awkward to look at her photos with him. She didn’t like the words disturbed or awkward…I can kind of see where she’s coming from, especially in a situation where she put herself out there (see what I did there), but come on, Jade, it’s Chris. He’s no wordsmith. On top of that, who knows how much control he even has over the blog that he has to put out throughout the season.

Kaitlyn also had a chance to gain some closure from Chris. He said that it was a gut decision and sometimes it’s like throwing darts at a dartboard in the dark. Oh, ok. I guess that’s a good method to use when trying to find love. But I get what he was saying….he had to make a choice and there really wasn’t anything wrong with Kaitlyn that made him not pick her. But she was also the only one that we heard Chris say he was falling in love with. And we know that they made some sweet love in the fantasy suite. That’s the first time I think I’ve ever heard the actual Bachelor or Bachelorette say to one of the contestants that they were falling in love to a specific person before the end of the show. Wow. And then he let her go. I still think she’s better off without Iowa, and I still think she’d be incredibly entertaining as the bachelorette…I just hope that the show wouldn’t ruin her.

The Ashleys. S really is pretty out there. She is still claiming that she is not a hired actor brought in to fawn over pomegranates or make everyone visibly nervous when handed a sharp object or paintball gun. And  I still seems to be a pretty terrible person and definitely immature. And what’s with that dress….cleave much??

Ashley I women tell all

Trina, no one had any idea who you were on the show, or that you were even on the show, until you tried to get your two cents in at every opportunity on The Women Tell All. Not interested then, still not interested now.

And of course, the maestro of it all, Chris Harrison. He is the (largely unnecessary) host of the entire bachelor enterprise, but I’m pretty sure that he lives for this episode each season.  He really loves to play the role of the counselor / therapist. Only he’s more interested in getting some juicy information out the the contestants and continuously pushing them to go deeper and give more and extract tears through the entire interview. He’s like the friend in high school who you spill your guts to and the next day the entire school knows, yet you continue confiding in that person over and over. He loves the power of the information and getting all the juicy stuff, all while stirring the pot and keeping the drama going. To Kelsey: Do you see why they might have found you to be condescending? To Kaitlyn: When was the exact moment you felt your heart break? To Britt: Would you still be with him if it weren’t for Carly? To Ashley S: Who are you….And will you please come on Bachelor in Paradise?! To Chris: They don’t call it the hot seat for nothing!

And wait…..Harrison wrote a romance novel?!?!? Oh. Em. Gee.

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So there you have it. Reality tv at its finest. It puts “real people” in a very unnatural environment with certain parameters that it can control. They then edit it for our mass consumption and entertainment. And then they bring those people back together again in an unnatural environment to confront one another and rehash all that went wrong the first time around. It’s reality tv about reality tv….they’re getting returns on their returns, and we’re all here to enjoy round two.

PS. I think my money is still on Whitney to win it all.

 

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final two: the bachelor winds down

Oh goodness…we are now down to the final two ladies on the bachelor. How the time flies…it seems like only yesterday we met the first set of 15 women coming out of the limos, which was then followed by a second set of limos full of 15 more women just a short time later.  [Side note: I believe both of the finalists came from the second set of limos.]

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Before my usual recap, I will offer a brief apology to those few loyal readers who rely on or enjoy (or enjoy makin fun of) my weekly analysis. Last week I was unable to crank out a blog, even though it was a huge week (hometown visits!) that led to this week’s fantasy suite adventures in Bali.

Super quick: It turns out that Jade was a model for Playboy for a bit which kind of threw off Chris’s idea of her sharing his small town values that he loved so much. This was not a one time hey I took a naked picture in college and submitted to Playboy; this was an extensive catalogue of full nudity shots (google jade Elizabeth). Jade’s brother called her a wild mustang. She was sent packing.

Becca’s family was a little bizarre and was overly freaked out that she and Chris were touching. Like even just him touching her knee. Weird, but she survived.

We saw just how small Chris’s town really is. Yes, Arlington Iowa is tiny and remote. An hour or more to get to a single place that will serve food or show a movie.

Britt and Carly were sent packing before the hometown dates. We all knew Carly was on her way out…and Carly herself knew it. I’m pretty sure her mindset was something like, fuck it, if I’m on my way out im making sure Britt doesn’t get any further. And it worked.

So that left us with three lovely, and extremely different, ladies for the fantasy suite episode:

 

imageKaitlyn the cool, free spirit from Canada. I’ve said before that I think that Kaitlyn is cool and a very engaging and good on camera, basically way too fun and cool for Chris. I still thought that…one of my favorites, but not a good match for Chris. And probably not likely to enjoy small town Iowa farm life. But on this particular date she seemed a little more lovey than usual and the two even talked about her putting herself out there and being vulnerable in order to prove her love for Chris. Which she did.  I think we also realized that Kaitlyn is Catherine from Sean’s season. Kind of goofy and fun, and not someone you would’ve picked to go far. [Spoiler: she doesn’t go any farther.]. Kaitlyn and Chris really do seem to enjoy each other and decide to spend a night in the fantasy suite.

 

 

 

 

 

 

imageWhitney is the very put together and driven fertility nurse from Chicago. She is 29 and told Chris that she is prepared to settle down and give up her career to make babies with him and live in small town Iowa. And I believe her…I think she’d be perfectly comfortable going that route.  As I said before, Whitney could speak to a wall for hours, which is a talent that’s good to have if you’re going to be around only a few hundred people, one of them being Chris. She has never felt so sure or so ready for anything than to spend her life with Chris. Which she may want to reevaluate. Whitney is very attractive, well spoken, has a great career, and lives in Chicago…I’m certain that she could easily date up from Chris if she wanted.  She is really nervous that her sister may have ruined her chances of winning by not giving Chris a full blessing to marry her. Chris assures her that’s not the case. [Side note: was that the only hometown date where they showed him asking for permission to marry the girl??]  Whitney survives and remains the favorite moving forward.

 

 

 

imageBecca is perhaps the most difficult to figure out, and that may be because we know the least about her, yet here she is in the final three. [Spoiler: She’s moving on as a finalist.]  We do know that she has never been in love and that she is a virgin…something Chris learns after he invites her into the fantasy suite. Chris, I’m a virgin. Uhhh.. *long audible sigh* that’s surprising. Her reaction to that exchange: I couldn’t have hoped for a better response.  Really?!  We also learn that she is confused about what love might be and is trying to figure out what exactly it is.  What’s love, Ron? from Anchorman immediately popped in mind when she asked Chris if this is what falling in love is. Becca’s entire family gave off terrible vibes during the hometown date talking about her lack of ever having a relationship; Becca continues to give mixed signals and comes off very wispy washy about how she feels about Chris, whether she’s ready for a relationship, and whether she’d be willing to move to Iowa. All huge red flags, but after a bizarre rose ceremony where Chris asks her to walk with him and talk (both Whitney and Kaitlyn think he’s send her home at this point) she is able to convince him that she is interested and he gives her a rose over Kaitlyn. Wow.

 

 

To be honest, before the episode started, I thought that Whitney and Becca would end up with roses (which they did). However, as the episode unfolded, I really didn’t see Becca getting one because of her hesitation and seeming lack of interest.

Thoughts going into the final:

Chris Harrison showed up…he has been largely absent throughout much of the journey and has not acted as the counselor that we have seen in seasons past (excluding JP of course). Which actually brings up a side rant about Chris being viewed and painted as so genuine and such a good guy, even though he has been arguably much more disrespectful to the girls in terms of making out with all of them, all of the time, and in front of them. Yet somehow JP remains the bigger villain. I guess you can get away with anything if you’re a wholesome farmer from the Midwest.

Kaitlyn, yes I feel bad for you because I believe you that it hurt and it was no fun to be put through that. However, you’re way too cool and would have felt trapped in Iowa. Also, you are great on camera, and you are my choice for the next bachelorette.

Whitney is the more mature and ready candidate for Chris. She has also made her enthusiasm very clear from day one. But I just don’t get her attraction to him.

Becca is a wild card. Not ready, and perhaps not interested. But it’s being teased like this is an extremely tough choice for Chris…so maybe there’s something about him having to win her over that he likes. They also do seem like they have had the most normal dates, which may be a testament to the, being able to survive the mundanity of daily life on the farm together.

At this point, I still think Whitney wins.

The final episode promises to be full of drama and heartbreak. But before we get there, we have the women tell all next week….should be some interesting stories there.

 

 
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Posted by on February 24, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

breakfast time

I’ve never been a huge breakfast person. In fact, it’s not unusual for me to grab a simple granola bar for breakfast, or to forego a breakfasty food item for more of a lunch or dinner type meal item if we’re having brunch.

But most people will tell you that breakfast is an important meal to kick start your day. Not too long ago, we decided to do a few weeks of “clean eating” where we largely followed the whole30 guidelines. Essentially we could eat meats, fruits, and vegetables; but we have up grains, sweets, alcohol, and dairy. You are allowed to eat regular sized portions at meal times, but are discouraged from snacking throughout the day.

One of the byproducts from this program was that we started paying more attention to breakfast than we had previously. [Truth and transparency: Em already paid plenty of attention to breakfast as she loves breakfast food!]  This has continued, even since we finished our little program.

One of our favorite new breakfasts that we started during that time and continue to enjoy is super simple and quite healthy. An over easy fried egg (or 2 if you’re hungry), half an avocado (we split one between the two of us), and a couple slices of tomato. We top everything with a pinch of salt and pepper, a squeeze of fresh lime juice, and some chopped cilantro. It’s a beautifully colored breakfast plate with lots of fresh flavors, and it’s pretty darn healthy as well. Depending on how much avocados are in your area, it is also very reasonably priced!  Give it a shot!

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with a little spinach

with a little spinach

As always:  Eat. Be Happy.

 
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Posted by on February 14, 2015 in Budget/$$, Food, Uncategorized

 

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the bachelor: deadwood

We’re getting down to the nitty gritty at this point. Sure, we still have a handful of girls left, but most of them are serious contenders at this point, though some do have more of a connection than others. I’m looking at you, Britt.

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So how did we get to this point? Well, a lot happened in this past episode…most notably three of the girls being sent home.

Remember how they left us hanging last week with no rose ceremony?? Well they picked up there. We saw Kelsey go down with a fake panic attack, just to make sure that she wasn’t sent packing. The girl who did get eliminated was….I honestly have no idea. Every season has that girl/guy who somehow hangs around and you realize that you never even knew they were there…until they get eliminated. All of a sudden it’s, “Wait, huh…who was that just eliminated?!” Well that happened at the open of this episode. So long, friend. It was fun while it lasted I guess?

Despite me not recognizing who the mystery woman eliminated was, the other girls seemed sad about it. Actually, I dont think they were sad about her leaving; more mad that Kelsey was not sent home.  Spoiler alert: the girls will be very happy by the end of the episode.

So they all head to Deadwood, North Dakota. “This is where Calamity Jane … did her stuff.” Thanks for that insight, Chris. Perhaps a town named Deadwood is an appropriate location for our hero…

The stakes are high here. A one on one date, a group date, and a two on one date, where only one girl will get arose. Dramaaaa! So Becca gets the one on one, which is one of her first chances to get to know Chris. They go on a horseback ride through the woods and kind of just sit around and talk. It’s a very normal date and makes me think that those two might actually be the most compatible of the group. She would probably be comfortable on a farm…although I do think she’d prefer a Southern farm to a Midwest farm in Iowa. She’s a Southern Belle. But she’s at least not completely out of place.

What happens when the group date turns into a one on one date? The girls get upset and feel humiliated. Ouch. Let me back up…for the group date Chris decides to let the girls know that country music is a huge part of his life. Basically he likes to listen to it, without really knowing the lyrics very well. So each girl is in charge of writing and performing a song. Carly is certain that she will win because she sings for a living. The truth is, she actually is very good, but she doesn’t win.  Jade is scared to death, but puts herself out there and over ones her fear with the help of country stars Big and Rich (Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy).  Bonus points for being vulnerable and putting yourself out there, but that won’t get you the rose this time.

Instead, while all of the girls are tucked away writing lyrics and trying to get inspiration, Chris is busy canoodling with Britt. In the open. Not very nice. He then makes an even bigger dick move…while they are all together and doing their little one on one sessions post-singing party, Chris decides to grab Britt and run across the street with her to a Big and Rich show. We get to see his questionable dance moves and lack of lyrical knowledge again. It’s not new for pairs to see live performances together, but Chris kept the other girls waiting around in their little group with no idea what  was going on…FOR OVER AN HOUR. Man that’s harsh. And they let him know it when he came back. He saw the girls fuming and quickly said that they were done for the night and he would see them all tomorrow.

 

 

Kaitlyn actually cried and said she felt humiliated…something I didn’t see coming for one of the cooler girls in the group. Whitney was seething…partly because she’s not sure if Britt is there for the right reasons, but also partly because Britt doesn’t  understand country music and couldn’t  possibly have appreciated the performance like she would have. Tough situation for all of the ladies.

But here’s where the drama rally kicks into high gear. The two on one with Ashley and Kelsey.  One will not be coming back. The virgin vs the widow. The belly shirt vs the cardigan. Eye lashes vs normal person lashes.  The two could not be more opposite. Kelsey, in her own words, is “blessed with eloquence. And I use a lot of big words. Because I’m smart.” Don’t let that intimidate you, Ashley…

They don’t really do anything on this date. An awkwardly placed bed in the middle of the Badlands (Kelsey knows where that is because she’s smart) is all that’s around. Then they each spend a bit of one on one time with Chris. And then Ashley rats out Kelsey for being crazy and manipulative and not getting along with the girls. Oh snap! But remember, Ashley, the whistle blower never advances!

Then Chris makes it really awkward when he goes off with Kelsey and tells her that Ashley just ratted her out. Whoa! When Kelsey gets back to the bed where Ashley is waiting, she gives her the scariest look I think I’ve ever seen. The weirdest bed stare down of all time. I thought that she was going to pull out a knife at any second and shred her. Then after minutes of icy cold staring, she says, “I know what you did.” Terrifying. Ashley tries to defend herself and tells Kelsey that she’s not the only smart one and that she can see through her scheming.

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At this point Ashley is scared for her life and storms off. Ashley, you’ve won, don’t do anything stupid! Then she finds Chris and immediately bursts into tears. And then swears that she’s not really like this and why is she crying every time she sees him. Doh! You blew it, Ashley. What little chance you had of survival is done. You’re not in the same place, you’d hate the country, you’re always crying…any number of excuses were mumbled and explained by Chris as he said goodbye.

Chris returns to Kelsey and says “I don’t know if you know this, but I just sent Ashley home.” … As Ashley’s sobs echo in the background. *Cut to the house with the other girls…Ashley’s suitcase is rolled away and they all gasp.*  Then back to the awkward bed, Chris lets Kelsey know that she deserves a great guy but he’s not the one. She takes it surprisingly well and reminds us again that she has an amazing story. Good luck with your story. *Cut to the house with the other  girls…Kelsey’s suitcase is wheeled out and they erupt in cheers and begin popping bottles of champagne. Seriously, they were popping bottles when they saw her suitcase exit.*

Phew! One episode, three ladies down. At this point Becah is creeping up the list of favorites, even though Britt currently has a stranglehold on Farmer Chris. That connection is all physical, and she’s going to freak out if she actually has to consider living on the farm. Whitney is still a solid option as is Jade.

 

 

 
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Posted by on February 11, 2015 in Media/Movies/TV, Uncategorized

 

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(late*) bachelor update

Shit got weird.

Seriously, the first bit of this episode was…interesting…to put it mildly. Poor Carly had no idea what she signed up for when she went on her one on one with Chris, where they spent time with a sex therapist/guru. Touching, eating chocolate, partially stripping, and then dry humping while sitting and making out…

Note: I studied human sexuality in grad school for a while, so this in and of itself is not something I find disturbing or wrong. But the level of discomfort that she had with the entire situation was uncomfortable to watch.

Bachelor singing Disney princess

She was nearly in tears for part of it. Not a great first date. Especially for the singing Disney Cruise entertainer who already has issues with physical intimacy. Maybe know your date a bit better before you take it to that level.

Although, like, in the end they, like, totally, like, had a great conversation about, like, everything. And we, like, learned, like, how often Carly, like, likes to, like, use the word like.

I guess things get out of control when you leave the country. Oh wait, sorry Megan, but New Mexico actually is not leaving the country. I’m sorry that you got really excited to take your first trip out of the country and to see the big hats that everyone wears there…and I’m sorry that you spent so much time thinking about why its NEW Mexico…is the other one OLD Mexico or just regular Mexico??  #worldtraveler

Fast forward to a great group date of white water rafting down the Rio Grande. I’m surprised any of them even decided to go at all after Sisco’s safety talk. “If you fall out of the raft, your foot might get caught and then you’ll probably get sucked under and die. Have fun.” Thanks a lot, Sisco! I liked you better when you were singing the Thong Song in the mid-90s. Seriously, there’s another individual out there somewhere named sisco….and he’s teaching white water rafting classes!?

Sisco thong song

wait, there is a different sisco…and he does white water rafting classes in new mexico

 

 

So on the next group date, Jordan shows up. Jordan who was the college girl getting wasted at every opportunity before being dismissed…hey, why not live it up at the mansion!? I think the conversation went something like: ABC: “Hey, the group date is going to be in New Mexico, want us to fly you down?” Jordan: “Hmmm, why?” ABC: “Well Chris is kind of boring so we’re doing everything possible to inject interest and drama.” Jordan: “Can I drink?” ABC: “Sure. PS. You came here on your own…we never talked to you.” Jordan: “I’m in.”

Ok, so maybe it didn’t go down exactly like that, but Jordan didn’t seem like the type who was crushed enough to go out of her way to win Chris’s heart one last time. Either way, it did inject some tension to the group date. Beca has a heckuva stank eye, and Ashley I goes predictably nuts. I really thought she might combust.

Whitney is not happy about it, but takes it in stride, which only serves to make Ashley more infuriated. But Whitney’s just looking out for Chris…after-all, she wants Chris to end up with a…nice girl. A fact she emphasizes later on when we really see that Kelsie may actually be even a little more evil and crazier than we thought. She is not a … nice girl …

PS. Jordan doesn’t even last the entire group date as Chris sends her home. He faces her “like a man” and does it “out of respect for the other girls.” With that whole like a man thing, you probably wouldn’t have put the blame on the other girls for sending her home. And with the whole respect thing, you probably wouldn’t be “dating” and making out with 20 girls at the same time. But that’s neither here nor there.

But seriously, Kelsie is now possibly the most evil. She certainly has the most maniacal laugh. And her blissful discussion about How amazing my story is… I’m writing my own fantasy here that’s all caught on camera… *maniacal laugh*  Ok, if her perfect husband really did die suddenly just a year and a half ago, and this is her reaction, then I just don’t know what to say about her. So weird.

Kelsie the bachelor

And all of this came pouring out in a well-rehearsed story during her secret meeting with Chris. Which was then not a secret as he spilled the beans to everyone right before the rose ceremony…. THAT NEVER HAPPENED.  Wait, what?!? That’s right, they’re leaving us hanging. They never finished the rose ceremony. Partly because of this talk that Chris had with Kelsie. And everyone is now pissed at her.

 

Stay tuned for next week! Yikes….what will unfold?!

 

Oh and PS. Britt also pissed everyone off because she and Chris had some sex. And they woke everyone up to the sound of their kissing at the crack of dawn before their one on one. And she sleeps with makeup on. And she doesn’t shower. And she essentially told everyone that they did have sex at the end of their one on one. The girls are not happy with her. Sorry, Britt.

Britt the bachelor

 

 

*I’m a little late for two reasons. 1) We were doing a little traveling and had to survive a blizzard in Chicago. Yes, the one weekend we decide to go back and visit the Midwest, we run into a blizzard.  2) All of these 2+ hour episodes mean that it’s past my bedtime before I can write anything up. I’m getting too old for this, and The Bachelor is getting too long and dramatic…

 
 

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Super Simple Apps: Italian Skewers

Not too long ago, we were invited to a fun little Italian dinner at a friend’s home. Of course, when someone is having a dinner get together, you really shouldn’t show up empty handed. [Of course it depends on other things like how fancy the party is and how well you know the person, etc.]  On this occasion, we decided not to go with the typical bottle of wine (not that there is anything wrong with that at all!).  We decided to try a fun little Italian inspired appetizer that we thought might be tasty.  It also happened to be super simple.  Check it out:

italian appetizer skewers

 

What we did:  Italian appetizer skewers

We had 3 different types of meat that we used: Genoa salami, Italian summer sausage, and pepperoni. We sliced the salami in half and then folded that twice (triangular shapes) when skewering; we cubed the summer sausage, and we sliced the pepperoni into halves.

We cubed some mozzarella cheese.

We opened a can of black olives.

We got out some grape tomatoes.

We go out some mushrooms.

And we plucked some basil leaves from our basil plant.

That was the only prep that was really involved – super easy. It’s all assembly from there. We then took those ingredients and put them on 6 inch, disposable, wooden skewers in various assortments. Not everyone likes meat….make some without meat. Not everyone likes olives….make some without olives.  Make some with extra meat if you like. If you know people really like a specific type of cheese or meat, then use those types instead.  [Note: We did do a little bit of a drizzle over the top of the skewers consisting of olive oil, balsamic vinegar, salt, pepper, and garlic salt. This drizzle is completely optional, but did add a nice element.]

These little skewers are so simple and so easy, yet at the same time you can come up with as many combinations as you like and really tailor them to the party or group. And because they are neat and simple little skewers, they are easy to set out and let people grab and munch while they mill about before the actual meal. We really enjoyed them!

italian appetizer skewers

 

 
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Posted by on January 31, 2015 in Food, Projects/Activities

 

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the ashley show (bachelor recap)

As the title implies, I really felt like this week’s episode turned out to be “The Ashley I Show” instead of The Bachelor.  That’s due to a few factors, the two largest being that 1) Ashley I is crazy (so is the other Ashley) and 2) Chris is really not the type of strong or interesting personality that controls the show and demands attention. I guess that’s why they brought in Jimmy last week, and that may be why they brought in his sisters this week…we need some extras injected to help him out.

Speaking of sisters, Chris’s sisters seemed pretty reasonable. They ended up selecting Jade to go on a Cinderella date with Chris. They brought in a fairy godmother, gave her a ball gown and jewels, and even showed a clip from the upcoming Disney movie remake. You would never guess that Disney owns ABC.  Oh, and all the while, we see Chris practicing his terrible ballroom dance moves…watch out Dancing with the Stars!

Back to more Ashley. She tells us over and over that she wanted a princess date and she even brought her own dress because she just knew there would be a princess date and she wanted to be ready.  And why didn’t she get it, because of course she wants it more than anyone else and would love it more than anyone else.  So not fair.

ashley-i-sad-bachelor-w352

 

But wait, before we actually get to the ball, Chris goes and spends some time in nature with the ladies. They hang out at a lake (which we find out from Kelsie is actually a terribly ugly lake….nothing compared to the beautiful lakes she is used to in Michigan), and they go camping.  Oh, we actually find out that Kelsie is both kind of lame, but also a little evil(??), and probably too self-aware for the show. She sits off on her own during the date and proclaims the show to be a competition for bimbos….as many of them jump and splash around naked in the lake. So she’s probably right.

Also, when one of the girls proclaims that they must be the luckiest girls in the world, Kelsie gives a phenomenal stink eye and simply states Really?!

sitting alone not enjoying the outdoor group date

sitting alone not enjoying the outdoor group date

 

More Ashley…and even more proof of how awful (and dumb) Ashley is when she and McKenzie try to pitch a tent. Seriously, those two…wow. But also, the cutoff jean shorts unbuttoned with the little crop top for Ashley. And then the kissing.  Oh the kissing – er…face swallowing – is so disturbing. And then going out of her way to mention, but not really mention, to Chris that she was a virgin…in very vague terms as she woke him up during a dead and drunken slumber.

PS. She mentions it again right before the rose ceremony to Chris, who is shocked. She’s really throwing it around, flaunting it throughout which is kind of annoying. But then we also find out that Beca is also a virgin as a personal choice, but has decided not to fling it around for all to see and hear. Thank you.

By the way, Kaitlyn, kudos to you for commentating the entire camping trip. Kaitlyn is a new favorite for me. She’s attractive and her commentary was enough to keep me very entertained. She’s on point, and obviously has pretty good awareness and people skills to know each of the girls and comment on the fly like she did.

Back to Jade though. She and Chris seemed to have a really nice time together at the ball. Of course, the symphony playing for just the two of them to dance to is awkward. And it’s even more awkward with Chris’s dance skills. But honestly, Jade might be my favorite at this point, which actually means that I don’t like her for Chris.  I think she’s probably too good for him.

the bachelor chris soules and jade

 

On the second one-on-one, we get to meet Jillian a bit more in depth. Of course, Jillian won the one-on-one through a physical competition – a race through a big obstacle course similar to a mud run / tough mudder / spartan race while wearing wedding dresses. This is not a surprise to anyone, as Jillian has long since demonstrated her dominance and athletic prowess to everyone.  One girl even questions who has the bigger penis, Jillian or Chris.

But we get to meet Jillian, and she turns out to be quite a handful. She talks quite a bit about everything, but especially her fitness and involvement in different shows/competitions. She’s actually much more of a talker than I would have imagined.  And probably more than Chris would have imagined as he stated, “I become confused. Because the words come out faster than I can process.”  Chris is really putting together a solid resume.  But I actually end up feeling sad for Jillian…Chris decides not to give her the rose on the date and she actually tears up a bit saying that she was nervous and out of her element.

So we definitely know Chris is serious because he sent home someone from a one-on-one. Oh, and also because just before the rose ceremony he tells the girls that they are free to leave if they question that he is there for the right intentions. I was hoping he would say “right reasons” because we really haven’t had quite enough of that yet this season, but “right intentions” works.  This little speech was inspired by a confrontation from Britt, who sat him down and tried to get some information out of him, like how he actually felt about her, and also share that several of the girls had some (fair) reservations about the amount of kissing and whatnot he was doing with everyone. So Chris, in typical fashion, stumbled and stuttered, and didn’t utter a single full sentence. Then he went off and told the girls they were free to leave.  But Britt still got a rose. Phew! (Just keep in mind, the whistle blower never wins…)

PS. Ashley I wore her princess dress to the rose ceremony. So glad she got to put it to good use.

 

 

Notably not getting a rose (finally) was Ashley S.  What a bizarre individual. If she is not a hired actor, I really hope she gets a little help and support from someone.

Favorites: Jade, Kaitlyn, Whitney.

 

 

 
 

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